Photographs, They Haunt Me Lately
by thecivilunrest
Summary: I find every subtle thing screams your name. Unrequited Nightwing/Artemis.


**Fandom: **_Young Justice_

**Story Title: **"Photographs, They Haunt Me Lately"

**Summary: **I find every subtle thing screams your name.

**Character/Relationship(s): **Dick Grayson/Artemis Crock, Wally West/Artemis Crock, Dick Grayson/Zatanna Zatara, Zatanna Zatara/Artemis Crock, Jason Todd

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Mentions of imagined sexy times? I don't know.

**Story Word Count: **3300+

**Disclaimer: **The song that I stole is "Retrace" by Anberlin, and holy God is it a Traught song. And I don't own any of the characters used here.

**Notes: **I don't... know? Forgive this, I really can't write any of the Robins but I just wanted to try. I have lots of unresolved feelings about one-sided Traught, if you can't tell. Two fics in as many days, I'll tell ya.

_Photographs, They Haunt Me Lately_

The photograph really isn't anything special. The flash was on, leaving both of their faces washed out in the wake of a morning sun. She's confused, maybe a bit dazed, and it's not the most attractive of expressions.

If the photograph was paper-which, thankfully it isn't because he doesn't know what would happen if it got into the wrong hands-it would have creases, from his folding and refolding it to be in his pockets. The edges would eventually be worn down from all of the times he's touched it. It's an old and much worn thing.

They have taken several more flattering photos, ones where they're both smiling, both ready to be photographed. Despite the flaws, however, it's still the best one that he's ever taken.

It's his favorite picture of the two them together, because it's the only one where there are no obstructions in their way.

.x.

Dick realizes that he's in love with his best friend's girl on a Tuesday. It's a completely ordinary day for him, except for the pain that shoots up his ankle every time he took a step. Last night he'd landed on it wrong, twisting it, and as such was put on the bench until it was completely healed.

He's in the library, "studying" during study hall. He really doesn't have to study anymore-school comes easily to him, and even the challenge of math has become mundane-and he's far too annoyed at the world to deal with his off period teacher, whose voice aggravates him on a good day.

Her laugh rings through the library before he realizes that she's there, in the back of the room with Kate Kane. Artemis so rarely laughs that loudly that his head whips around to find the source of it.

She's covering her mouth, nudging Kate with her elbow and trying to hide her face from the glare of the librarian by shoving her face in a book. That doesn't really work, though, because he can still see her gold head shining and the way that her are shaking.

For a moment he considers going over there, asking her what's so funny, but that's a stupid thought. Artemis doesn't know him here, and he's sure that she only thinks of him as "that weird freshman that took a picture of his phone of us together the first day of school."

But Dick wants to _know. _He wants to be the one making her laugh, to know all of her inside joke, and it surprises him how strong is reaction is. He'd thought he'd grown used to not knowing everything about her, no matter how hard he tried.  
Wally was the one with that privilege now, seeing as how he was her boyfriend and everything.

At one point in time Dick had known more about Artemis and her past than anyone on the team, and it wasn't until this moment that he realizes how much he _relished _that.

He cares far more about it than he should. And that might be exactly his problem.

That's the first night he takes the picture out, just to look at it.

.x.

Dick breaks up with Zatanna the next day. He expects her to cry, for some reason, but she's completely dry eyed by the time he's done with his cliched "it's not you, it's me" excuse.

"I was actually expecting you to come out with that sooner," she says, looking straight at him. "It's not really a surprise. Neither of us wanted this anymore."

And it's true. They had begun avoiding alone time with each other, phone calls had become obligatory and shorter and shorter as time went on. But still, at least he tried.

"I'm really sorry-" he starts, but Zee just puts up her hand.

"Really, it's fine. I just... don't really care?" Her tone seems apologetic, and she shrugs as she says it, but he knows that she's not sorry. "I haven't felt that way about you in... a long time."

"Glad you can be so chalant about it," Dick answers, and she laughs.

Wally and Artemis choose that particular moment to walk in, their clothes damp and their breathing hard. "Oh are we interrupting something? Our bad." Wally says, wiggling his eyebrows, and Artemis slaps the back of his head.

"We were just leaving," Artemis tells them, giving both of them a knowing grin before grabbing Wally's hand and walking out the way they came. Wally says something, too low for Dick to hear all the way from the couch, and Artemis replies, causing Wally to throw back his head and laugh.

The scene makes his chest burn, and he has to count to ten in his head before he can breathe again.

"You too?" Zee asks, her eyes pitying him and he has to look away. He doesn't want her pity, doesn't want anyone to feel bad for him for feeling more strongly than he should about a girl that can never be his. She puts her hand on his. "Don't worry, Rob. We're both in the same boat."

A detective isn't needed to figure out what she means.

.x.

He comes to both hate and love the fact that, outside each other, Dick is the person that two of them are closest to. Wally is his best friend, has been since he was ten years old and they met for the first time really. But Artemis isn't far behind.

Being the only two nonmetas on the team, they understand each other in ways that the others can't. There are certain things that they just can't _do_, certain things that they have to fill in the lack of.

It creates a bond between them, one that's almost as thick as blood. Not that Dick wants to be blood related to her. Oh, not at all.

"You're really like the little brother I never had," she tells him one day when they're sparring, and something inside him shrivels up inside him. Her _brother_. Of course.

"But always wanted, right? But I bet your little brother couldn't do _this_," he replies smoothly, sending an elbow to one of the places that she's left unguarded. Artemis has always been good, even when the team first started, so it's a rare opportunity that he can hit one of her weak spots.

She's fast, but not fast enough and he manages to grab her and flip her to the ground. Artemis lets out an _oof_, and in a second he's looking down on her, able to see all of the spots that hitting her would be lethal.

For once, however, that's not what he's focusing on, not fully committed to the training exercise. He really should point out all of the chinks in her armor, but he's too busy just _looking _at her.

Her chest is heaving, how her hair is strewn around her face, pieces of it let out of her usually tight ponytail. He notices how close his mouth is two hers, for just one second, and he searches her face. He's glad for the mask that he's wearing, because she can't see what he's thinking through them.

Dick thinks about leaning in, for one wild second, forgetting about how she's taken or how she's dating his best friend, about anything other than her mouth on his, but she turns her face and grabs one of his ankles, which he hadn't been expecting.

Artemis yanks his feet out from under him, which gives her the opportunity to land him flat on his back. Only for a second, though, before she stands up and offers him her hand.

"I don't know. Any little brother of mine could probably do that." Artemis grins, and he tries not to groan about the fact that they're back to this.

"Don't you think you've got enough crazy siblings?" he asks, thinking of Cheshire and all the things that she has done, and she just shakes her head.

"Then you'd fit right in."

But what he wants to tell her is no, that the only way he'd fit in her family is if he's right beside her.

.x.

(This is how his fantasies go (the ones that she isn't naked in at least):

They're in Gotham, at one of his favorite burger joints, just the two of them in a booth sitting on the same side. She's drinking a vanilla milkshake, and they're sharing a plate of cheese fries, greasy enough that it's probably unhealthy, but it doesn't matter to either of them.

And they're laughing, doubling over at something that she's trying to say even though she can barely get the words out she's laughing so hard. His heart is fluttering in his chest because he's just so _happy_. Both of their costumes are in bags beside them, ready to go if needed, but that's not what they're focusing on. For once, it's just _them_.

"I can one up you," he tells her, and whips out his phone, he one with the picture on it.

For a moment her eyes widen and her mouth opens as she looks at it. And then she glances at him. "You're kidding, right? It was _you_? _You're _the little creep took that picture of me?"

"In the flesh."

She slaps his arm. "I really can't believe this," she says, and then laughs. "I should have known. Only you." And then she leans in and kisses him.

Okay, and then that's when they get naked.)

.x.

Almost automatically his fingers find the digits that make up her number on his phone. They'd given each other their numbers, just to get in touch, and Dick had a phone just for the occasion that he had to call one of his teammates. Her number's also on his regular cell, just because of school clubs that they're both in, but she doesn't know that. Obviously.

Dick doesn't know why she's the first person that he calls and not Wally, but he does because it feels natural. Right.

"Robin?" she asks, confused, her voice muddled with sleep. It's four in the morning, and most people, even the criminals, are asleep right now. "Why are you calling me..." she pauses, presumably to look at the clock, "at a quarter to four?"

"I need to talk to you." He hates his tone, but he can't help it. He can't be cheerful Robin all the time, and as he gets older he finds out that he wants to be less and less. The bright red uniform just doesn't fit him all the time now, and as much as he hates that he can't help it.

She sounds more alert when she answers. "Okay. Where are you? I'll meet you there."

"I'm on the roof of your building," Dick tells her, and wonders if she'll find that creepy. But it was where his feet, with help from his grapple lines, had taken him without him even having to think.

"I'll be right there," she says as she hangs up her phone. He counts the seconds that he waits, getting to around four hundred, before she appears.

Her pajamas are thin, which explains the purple blanket that she brings with her. "What gives?" She throws the blanket around him too, even though he doesn't need it because the undersuit that he wears underneath his costume is warm enough. But he doesn't protest, opting instead to grab the other side and bring them closer together. "Why are you calling me at this time of night? I mean, I know the Dynamic Duo don't sleep, but this is bordering on ridiculous."

Dick shrugs before he answers. "Bats and I got into a fight. A big one, bigger than before." She hums, not having to say anything, because the whole team had noticed the tension between Batman and Robin.

"What about?" Artemis asks when it becomes clear that he isn't going to say more.

"Me having more free reign over the city. I don't need to be glued to his side anymore. I can go off on my own. I'm good enough!"

"Definitely. You're almost as good as he is now."

"But he doesn't _get _that, and I don't know _why_."

"He doesn't want to see it," and she nudges him when he opens his mouth to protest. Batman sees _everything_. Dick knows that better than anyone. "Hear me out on this, okay? You're basically his little bird, someone that he's brought under his wing. He loves you, like a son, am I right? I am, so let's move on. And maybe... maybe he doesn't want to throw you out of the nest just yet. With you gone, he'll have an empty nest, and maybe that's why he's pulling you closer than ever."

"I'm almost seventeen!" he growls in frustration, grabbing his hair. "I can throw my own self out of the nest if I want to."

"Maybe you should," Artemis suggests, and that stops him cold. He doesn't know why the thought never occurred to him, not as anything more than a flight of fancy.

"I don't have another nest to land on, though." He's thinking out loud at this point. "I don't have any of the resources that he does. I just..."

She grabs his hand, and his heart twists in his chest. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but not one that he can ignore. "You can do it. I know you can. You might have to prove it at first, create your own identity in secret, but eventually he'll loosen his hold and _help _you. If he cares about you as much as he can, which he _does_, one day the big bad Batman will realize that he doesn't need to protect you. That you're your own person."

He digests that, and doesn't let go of her hand as he does. "I'll have to think about that," he tells her, "but you're probably right."

"Of course I am."

They spend the rest of dawn in silence, watching the polluted skies of Gotham turn the sky into an array of bright pinks and oranges.

And the only thing better than the view, is the company.

.x.

The one, and only, time that he takes Jason to the cave is when his younger brother meets Artemis.

Jason is rough around the edges, but underneath it all he has a good heart and wants to help. Dick likes him because the kid is great, but he knows that Jason is trying so hard to be him that it's almost painful to watch.

Sometimes he feels like telling Jason that it's okay not to try so hard, to be himself, but he isn't sure how the boy would take it so he doesn't say anything at all.

"And this is where we train," Dick says, waving his hand over the training area. Jason's eyes are wide, even though they have a place even better than this to train in the Batcave. It's not easy to forget that the kid grew up on the streets, and the awe in eyes everytime he sees a high tech area is proof of that. He wonders if he was this easy to impress when he first started to train with Bats, and he hopes not.

"Oh, hey guys. You here to join the team?" Artemis asks Jason, causing the boy to jump. He hadn't heard her coming, and neither had Dick to tell the truth.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Jason shrugs. "It seems like a cool gig though, so maybe."

"I'm giving him a tour," Dick explains. "He needs to know what he's getting himself into before he joins."

"Makes sense. Well, I'm off the the archery range. Green Arrow's going to kill me if I miss another session."

As she makes her way out, Jason stage whispers to him, "That's _her_? Huh."

"Her who?" Dick asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He doesn't like Robin's tone.

"You know, the chick you're in love with?" At Dick's surprise, because even he knows that he isn't hiding it well, Robin shrugs. "What? Alfred told me."

_Alfred_. Of course he knows. The man knows everything. And here he'd thought that he'd been hiding it well.

"Well what about _her_?" Dick asks. Jason's words smart, because it's the first time that anyone's ever fronted him out about his feelings for Artemis. Even he's never said them out loud, and really it's better that way.

"I just expected her to have bigger boobs, is all," Jason contemplates. "But she's pretty enough I guess."

And Dick just laughs. "Her boobs are big enough for me, thanks."

"Whose boobs?" Wally asks, and that makes both of them stop laughing until Jason replies, "Your mom's."

And as they all laugh, he thinks that Jason is going to make a great Robin.

.x.

Being Bruce Wayne's ward bites sometimes, especially when it requires wearing a suit in the hot sun. Even though he isn't Robin anymore, Dick is required to maintain the charade that everything is perfectly normal between them, even though now Jason is here as well.

Gotham Academy's graduation ceremony is especially awful, because when _aren't _graduations boring as all get out? But this one is interesting enough, if only because both Babs and Artemis are part of the graduating class.

He listens to Bruce talk about their future, how to make it in the "real world" even though they'll just be going to more school, and he watches as they make their way across the field to get their diplomas.

Artemis looks especially good in navy, Dick tries not to notice, since that's what color her cap and gown are.

It seems to be in a blink of an eye, but all of a sudden hats are being thrown into the air and the crowd that had been waiting in the stadium start trickling down to the field, giving out congratulations.

Dick had already decided the day before that he was going to tell Artemis congrats and good luck, just to talk to her longer than five minutes just _once _but before he can he notices Wally rushing to Artemis, Paula Crock waiting for them on the corner of the field.

Watching Wally kiss Artemis, long and deep in congratulations, something burns in Dick's chest, hot and heavy, and he has to look away. For the first time he's grateful that Wally and Artemis don't really believe in PDA, because if he had to watch that all the time he'd have to leave.

"Palo Alto here we come!" Wally shouts, and Artemis laughs as he tries to fist pump awkwardly.

As they walk to Paula, Dick feels resentment boiling over because Gotham Academy was his and Artemis's only thing without Wally, even if she didn't know. It was the only thing that they shared, just the two of them.

And as he turns, walking away from them, he knows in his gut that there isn't ever going to be a shred of hope for him, that he will never take her away from Wally, that all of a sudden his theme song is _My Best Friend's Girl_.

It's the first time that he looks at the picture, now programed into his suit, and admits defeat.

_We'll laugh about this someday. Or not. _

.x.

The photograph really isn't anything special. The flash was on, leaving both of their faces washed out in the wake of a morning sun. She's confused, maybe a bit dazed, and it's not the most attractive of expressions.

If the photograph was paper-which, thankfully it isn't because he doesn't know what would happen if it got into the wrong hands-it would have creases, from his folding and refolding it to be in his pockets. The edges would eventually be worn down from all of the times he's touched it. It's an old and much worn thing.

They have taken several more flattering photos, ones where they're both smiling, both ready to be photographed. Despite the flaws, however, it's the best one that he's ever taken.

It's his favorite picture of the two them together, because it's the only one where there are no obstructions in their way.


End file.
